'...but everything's ok with you, right?' - 'yes' - 'you just want to go there because you want to know it?' - 'yeah' - 'ok'

no, fucking no. Nothing's ok with me, i'm feeling bad again. And i won't take care of you this time, 'cus this doesn't work out, don't you fucking see it?! I'm lying for so long now. I lied to everyone even to those who wanted to help me and needed the truth from me. But the big fat smile stayed even when i was talking about the bad things 'but that's ok, i don't care that much'. Of course I do, i care about fucking everything.